Reading this article in the NYT today got me thinking about bacon.  Don’t get me wrong, 15% of ALL of my daily thought processes will involve bacon, but this was a special case.  Then it got me thinking about the Baconator, and how I’ll often take my big ‘ol meat cleaver to it, making it a more beneficial and enjoyable eating experience.

Cutting a burger in half, Erik?  Where’d you come up with THAT idea?

Well, here’s the “quad” story:

I’m often impressed by the size of Wendy’s burgers, height-wise.  For some reason, the additional plumpness of the meat combined with assorted toppings and the fluffy bun makes other fast-food burger joints pale in comparison.  (Five Guys being the only exception - if they even count as fast food.)

One night i was craving the “quad,” which is a special item at Wendy’s, not explicitly on the menu.  You have to order a triple, then ask for extra meat for $.79.  For toppings, I asked for the works.  Plus a side of fries.  The people working the drive thru - and I’m not making this up - actually crowded around the window when they gave me the order, wishing me luck to help me finish their creation.  Or maybe it was to see which fatty-fat-fatty wedged into their 1987 Chevy Astro it was ordering THIS time.  Either way, I felt like I was part of an exclusive club.  The Quad Club.  (Yeah, awesome.)

I got the thing home, and was forced to cut the sumbitch in half to eat it.  The size and shape of four 1/4 lb. (square) burgers made it quite unruly.  Needless to say, the meal was awesome, and left me in a lethargic state afterwards.  It felt like life was moving in slow motion all around me.  I’ve never smoked pot before (nerd alert!), but I can assume that this dream-like laziness that I was feeling is similar to the typical reaction to some great ganja.

Since then, any big Wendy’s burger I’ve taken home with me, Baconator included, has gotten the same treatment - the cut-in-half.  I know it makes me seem like a pansy-boy, having to halve my burger, but in terms of messiness, it’s a lifesaver.

When I leave work today, I’ll probably get myself a Baconator, even though the nearest Wendy’s is several miles worth of traffic away.  Thus upping my bacon-related thoughts percentage to more than 30% on the day, and that ain’t bad.

e$.

This is so fantastic. I love any commercial that advertises a product as ‘almost illegeal’.