#5 - The “On” button to my mini desktop fan

I was introduced to this fan technology by a co-worker, the same one who told me I need more holograms on my website.   While i struggle to find some, atleast I can do it in the comfort of my office thanks to this lovely fan from the corporate express catalogue.  With 3 speeds, a timer, and an oscaliate button, one cannot go wrong.  I also have the thermostat in my office (this controls 3 of the 4 offices in my area) After some work, i was able to break into it and adjust the temperature to my liking. On the days when I want to sweat out my co-workers i turn to button #5 to keep me cool.

 

#4 - The PLAY button on my CD player

Fancy, isn’t it? This purchase was motivated by the ”lets see what work will give me” phase a few months back.  My old CD player would not play disks 3 and 4 on the changer. It played 1, 2 & 5 just fine.  After numerous cuss words blurting out of my office and a few thrown items, getting the approval on a new CD player was a piece of cake.  Everyone LOVES the new one, “oooh that’s so nice” and “How did you get such a nice CD player” and “What do you do to deserve that” -as if i am sitting in on a throne being fanned by half naked girls. That was also approved.

The reality of it is that the CD player is a piece of shit. It barely plays burned CD’s (yes, i have burned CD’s and work at a record label) and the botton two disc’s won’t play! It’s worse then the original player I had. Do NOT buy the philips micro hi-fi mcm298.  There is nothing hi-fi about it!

Nevertheless the play button is VERY important. WIth my door open, i can hit play and piss people off, or unite them with song. With the door closed,  i can satisfy my craving for loud indie rock music.

The latest use of the play button is to to play vocals over Torrey’s instrumentals (he sits outside of me) a remixing of sorts. Look for it to be the be the next BIGG thing, kind of like mash-ups were. Boy was that bad idea.

 

button #3…drum roll please……………………….

My Doorbell

Please ring for assistance. That is correct,  I have a real working door bell on my door. The designers here gave it to me as a gift because they knew how much everyone bothered me.  Although the ring itself is somewhat on the soft side, it sure gets the point across and everyone loves it.  The combo of button #4 and this button make for a difficult day (I cannot hear the doorbell over the music), but never the less it is still effective for laughs, thwarting away the enemy and for sheer fact that I have a doorbell on my office door. 

BUTTON #2 - We are getting down to the wire here…almost at number one. Wonder what it is? Well, it is not the EASY BUTTON…

because that is my #2 button. This was a gift from our dept. asst. the best $20 she ever spent on me aside from when she bought me a bottle of vinegar (more on that in another post).  The premise of this is quite simple.  If you come into my office and the conversation, request, favor, etc..is EASY, as you exit, you hit it.  Then it says “THAT WAS EASY” - we laugh and move on with our lives.  Apparently that concept is hard to take in around here.  People come in with no conversation, or request and just hit the button, or people ask if they can push the button, or they will ask what happens if they push the button.

Sometimes I let them hit the button, like a child, they are entertained, other times I tell them not to touch it, or it opens up the trap door and they will fall into the alligator pit. To this day, the easy button has really only been used corrently twice. The first person I cannot recall, but I am sure of it, the 2nd was the President of the comapny.  Yes, I am important enough that the President of the company comes to my office & hits buttons on my wall.

Alas…the most important button in my office. Can you handle this?

THE SEND ALL CALLS button.

Located on the left hand column off my Avaya Model 4 phone, this button is my saving grace.

Don’t want to talk to you…I push it

Want to send you to voicemail…I push it

Want some peace and quiet - i Push it

Want to not work for a while - I push it

Want to push something - I push it

The only thing I hate more than the voicemail indicator being on, is my actual phone ringing. I once toyed with the idea of having all my calls transferred to the tech support line, but was worried I might miss an important personal phone call.

Although it may seem like this button is a lose/lose situation. Think again, people hate leaving voice mail.  They would rather just email. I win. So as the phone rings, i Hit that button and then i hot that other button. THAT WAS EASY!